new year…new me?
I’ve always been wary of the new year’s trend: committing to resolutions promising a fully polished, more productive, brand new version of yourself. It just doesn’t seem realistic, or healthy, to be honest.
But I can’t quite bypass the reflective energy of this time, there is something about the evaluation space we find ourselves in, at the New Year. We've slowed ourselves down long enough to reflect on the past year, and begin to notice some things we may want to do differently.
My reflections, as of late, have been on the broader scale, looking at the bigger picture: the trajectory of my life, the trajectory of our culture, and the patterns that I've been noticing.
And I’ve noticed a theme: disconnection.
I can be pretty good at hiding my needs, tending to others, and disconnecting from myself.
That word, connection– is a pretty important one in my world. I’m hyper focused on it, it’s fuel for me to keep going, and I can see that I have not tended to that need enough. I am craving more connection, and I’ve realized that we are all CRAVING it.
I recently came across the term “spiritual PTSD” from Sarah Wilson, a term she uses to describe the state we have found ourselves in the past years, a crisis of disconnection– from one another, from our true values, from joy, and from the life we feel we are meant to be living. This disconnection she describes as a personal fog, a spiritual trauma from living with consumerism, climate change, COVID-19, social injustice and collective anxiety.
This idea deeply resonates with me, as I have also sensed this feeling of disconnection in myself and in many I speak with.
She argues that this sense of despair and disconnection is also ironically what unites us, and that deep down we're all feeling the same desire for a new way of living.
A deeper, more authentic way of being in the world and being with ourselves. The way forward is reconnection.
I think I want the New Year, the “new me” to be about rediscovery of my true self, a forming of a deeper connection with myself, learning to care and tend to myself with gentleness. I’ve realized that my heart has felt quite tender and overworked, and my longing is to give myself the same love and attention that I so lavish upon others.
How does a new year of self discovery sound to you? Maybe a little daunting? I hear ya! That is why we need connection with others on the path, to help remind us we are not alone!
What does a new year of self discovery look like for you?
What parts of yourself are hidden, waiting to be gently uncovered, and given space to breathe?
What care does your heart long for from yourself? What gentleness and acceptance can you offer yourself?
My hope and prayer in this new year is that we may all walk in kindness and gentleness with ourselves and one another.
